SoS 6:1-3 Conflict, Part 5: "Relax"

[The Bride's Friends]
    [6:1] Where has your beloved gone,
        O most beautiful among women?
    Where has your beloved turned,
        that we may seek him with you?

[She]
    [2] My beloved has gone down to his garden
        to the beds of spices,
    to graze in the gardens
        and to gather lilies.
    [3] I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine;
        he grazes among the lilies.
(Song of Solomon 6:1-3 ESV)

After the bride spends time reflecting on the various things she loves about Solomon, her friends can see that her heart is calm again, that she's full of love, instead of panic or worry or anger.

So now they ask her: "Where has Solomon gone?"

Earlier, right after she had rejected Solomon and he walked away, she had panicked. She had ran through the palace, calling out for him. She couldn't find him.

But now that she's calm, she realizes that she knows exactly where he is. Solomon planted gardens all throughout Israel; Ecclesiastes 2 records how he beautified and built up the entire country. He built gardens, forests, pools of water, buildings, palaces.

Solomon had one particular garden rather close to the palace that he enjoyed. When emotionally vexed, he would go there.

His bride realizes that he's gone there. So they go, and she finds him, grazing among the flowers.

But before they do, look at what she says: "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine."

She is calm and relaxed, at peace and in love. She knows that she is Solomon's, and that Solomon is hers. She relaxes in this beautiful truth. In marriage, they are one; in marriage, they belong to each other; they love each other.

Yes, they had a conflict. But in the end, it's such a tiny little thing.

In the big picture, they love each other, they belong to each other, and they'll reconcile. Her friends wisely focused her heart on remembering all that she loved about Solomon, and as she did, panic was replaced by renewed feelings of love.

So now, she trusts in that love. She hasn't yet spoken to Solomon and discovered if he forgives her, but she knows that in the end, they'll be all right. They'll work it out. They love each other. And one of the beautiful powers of love is that it covers over a multitude of sins. She can confidently hope for forgiveness, because she knows he loves her.

Even more than that, they both know God, and they know that God will works things out.

Thus: Most human conflict is nothing to worry about.

Yes, it seems terrible in the moment. The agony of not knowing how the future will turn out can be unbearable. In these moments, fear can grip us and anxiety can convince us that everything is falling apart.

But it isn't. Solomon's bride re-focuses her heart on their love, on their marriage, on their covenant of love, and realizes that it's all going to be okay.

For all of us, the vast majority of our conflicts will end the same way, especially if we try to treat each other in love.

There will be some conflicts with larger impacts. Sometimes, a relationship will be broken. Several years in the future, this relationship between Solomon and his bride will lose its precious love, as Solomon gives his heart to hundreds of women. Sometimes, life-shattering conflicts do happen, and they don't get resolved.

But when they do, we can still know that we'll be all right, in the end, because God loves us more than our loved one ever did.

For most of our conflicts, if we handle them according to God's Word, they'll turn out just fine. Love has that kind of power. Love covers over a multitude of sins.

And for those few times when something life-shattering does occur, God will still be there for us, giving us more love, affection, and affirmation than we could ever crave.

In Psalm 27:10, David boldly declares, "For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in." No matter who you lose -- father, mother, spouse, child, friend, sibling, companion -- God will take you in, and God will give you the love that your heart craves.

So to sum it all up: Relax.

When you're in conflict, trust that love will cover over a multitude of sins. You'll be fine.

And if anything is lost, trust that God will fill the void with love a thousand times stronger.