SoS 4:1: Behold the Beauty

[He]
[4:1] Behold, you are beautiful, my love,
behold, you are beautiful!
Your eyes are doves
behind your veil.
Your hair is like a flock of goats
leaping down the slopes of Gilead.
(Song of Solomon 4:1 ESV)


Song of Solomon 4 is a great (and potentially awkward) chapter, but today we'll focus on this one verse.  Men in particular should pay attention; everything in this verse should be done by every married man to his wife!

The verse itself is very straight-forward; Solomon is praising his new wife for her great beauty.  He begins by simply stating it: "Behold, you are beautiful, my love, behold, you are beautiful!"  Not only does he say that she is beautiful, but he makes it personal; she is his love, his wife, the woman he adores. 


Telling a woman she's beautiful is good, but men, don't leave it at that.  There's an art to complimenting a woman, and Solomon has mastered that art!

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He next says, "Your eyes are doves behind your veil."  He doesn't just say she's pretty; rather, he picks out specific things that he likes and mentions them, comparing them to other beautiful things.  In this case, she likely has black or dark brown eyes, such that the darkness of their color surrounded by the whites of her eyes reminded him of the beauty of a dove, which its dark eye and pure white feathers.  He may also be saying that her eyes are innocent and have a pure beauty, much as a dove does.


He follows this up with, "Your hair is like a flock of goats leaping down the slopes of Gilead."  This might seem like a strange little comparison, but basically he's complimenting the way her hair cascades down her neck, shoulders, and back.  It looks great to him, so he takes the time to let her know, specifically.


So men, let's learn something, here.  Solomon is the master of romance, and he knows that women are verbal creatures.  It's rare to find a woman who is not absolutely delighted by receiving compliments about her beauty.  Solomon wants his bride to know how much he adores her, so he praises her beauty and compliments specific things that he loves about her, in this case, her beautiful eyes and hair.  Words are the way to a woman's heart, gentlemen.  You can't just tell a woman "you're hot" and expect her to feel enamored with you.  Tell her why you think she's beautiful.  Tell her specifically what you love about her, visually.  Compare her to beautiful things; show her that when you see beautiful things like doves, they remind you of something specific about her.

And don't just tell her once and expect her to be satisfied.  Tell her constantly.  These are words of life, words of love, to a woman.  If you're married, you cannot say these words enough!

Again, a word of caution, men: Solomon is saying these things to his bride.  He is not saying them to his crush.  If you don't know a woman, she likely won't be as taken with these compliments, because she won't know whether you're a creep or a good guy, whether you're genuine or if you've got an ulterior motive.  So while it's fine to tell a woman that she looks great, save these specific, romantic compliments for when romantic compliments are appropriate.

Women, if you're in a relationship with a guy and he's not exactly taking after Solomon's example, feel free to point him to this blog post.  Men, if you were sent here by a woman, don't you ignore this.  It might seem silly to you; a lot of guys aren't wired to appreciate compliments about their beauty, so you might not understand emotionally why your woman needs this.  But trust the Bible here: she needs these words, and you are the man God has put into her life to speak them to her most often.  Take your job seriously, and praise this woman for all the beauty you see in her!  You'll be glad you did, and she will be absolutely ecstatic that you did.

That's all for now.  Men, you have homework.  Get to it!