SoS 8:11-14 "How Love Began"

After a year-long journey, this is finally the last post in the exploration of Song of Solomon. This last section gives a shout out to several earlier sections in the book, pulling everything together in one last beautiful refrain.

Proving yet again that this book wasn't written in order of the way things happened, the last section describes how the couple first met.

[Her]
[11] Solomon had a vineyard at Baal-hamon;
he let out the vineyard to keepers;
each one was to bring for its fruit a thousand pieces of silver.
[12] My vineyard, my very own, is before me;
you, O Solomon, may have the thousand,
and the keepers of the fruit two hundred.
[Him]
[13] O you who dwell in the gardens,
with companions listening for your voice;
let me hear it.
[Her]
[14] Make haste, my beloved,
and be like a gazelle
or a young stag
on the mountains of spices.
(Song of Solomon 8:11-14 ESV)

The woman begins by describing a few events that led up to her meeting the man of her dreams.

First, Solomon was a wealthy king. He had parks and vineyards and forests throughout the country. One such vineyard was in Baal-hamon, and he hired people to take care of it. They would plant the seeds, care for the plants, harvest the grapes, make a profit by selling wine and grapes on the markets. From the profits, they would give Solomon a thousand pieces of silver, since it was his vineyard.

We learned in chapter one that Solomon's bride used to work in a vineyard with her brothers. As she said, "My mother's sons were angry with me; they made me keeper of the vineyards, but my own vineyard I have not kept!" Her brothers previously had sought to protect her purity, as it seems their father was out of the picture. Yet they apparently had a poor work ethic, and she ended up doing most of the work. As a result, she didn't have time to care for her physical appearance. She keeps the vineyards of grapes, but her own vineyard, the garden of her beauty, she hasn't had time to keep.

But it just so happened that this vineyard she worked was owned by Solomon. One day Solomon visited the vineyard, to see how everything was coming along. He found something he hadn't expected: the woman doing most of the work was not only a hard worker, but also gorgeous. She had cultivated a beautiful vineyard, but also a beautiful character.

In chapter one, she is bashful; she feels embarrassed to have sunburned skin, when all the wealthy women of the day had pale skin, since they didn't have to be out in the fields working all day long, as she did.

She was quite smitten from the start. She says, "My vineyard, my very own, is before me." The moment she sees Solomon, she's self-conscious because she realizes she must look terrible, covered in sweat with her hair all over the place and dressed in common work clothes. She's attracted to Solomon; she wants to appear beautiful to him, to make him notice her.

Yet she had no reason to worry. Solomon found her beautiful, even with what she perceived to be flaws. Solomon found her to be captivating.

She, in return, found Solomon to be a man worthy of honor, a man worthy of the possessions and power he held. She says, "You, O Solomon, may have the thousand, and the keepers of the fruit two hundred."

She says that Solomon is due the full profit of the vineyard. This might seem fairly obvious, but consider the plight of a working woman, especially one forced to do the majority of the labor. It would be easy for her to grow resentful of her condition, to despise her brothers and the man who owned the vineyard in the first place.

Yet she harbors no resentment. When she sees Solomon, she has nothing but respect for him. Not only does she say that he deserves the profit of the vineyard, but she also says that her brothers deserved their share of 200 pieces of silver, for their role as caretakers. She doesn't rat out her lazy brothers to the boss; instead, she honors them.

It may have been this very act of charity towards her undeserving brothers that sparked Solomon's notice! Not only was she beautiful and hard-working, but she was gracious and kind, as well. Solomon was wise and discerning; it was likely immediately noticeable to him that the men were taking advantage of their sister. Many women would have been asking for punishment and retribution, instead of asking for them to receive their full wages.

Solomon notices her, even as she feels entirely unpresentable. And it may just have been this very fact that convinced her that the king was truly interested in her, a lowly working woman. 

After all, Solomon is the king! He could have any woman he wanted: the most beautiful in the land, the most wealthy, the most famous, the most powerful, the most talented. He could also be a snob, a man who thinks he deserves more than anyone else, a man who would use a woman, but not love her. How could a woman believe that he was truly interested in her for who she was, and that he was a man worthy of her heart?

Perhaps she saw these things when she realized that she looked atrocious sweating in the midday sun, yet Solomon still was captivated by her. He saw that she was beautiful, and that her beauty was so great that it didn't depend on make-up or dresses or perfume.

He also saw her character, as she was a astonishingly hard worker, and she was gracious and loving toward her family, even when they were less than deserving of it. In other words, he was attracted to what he saw inside of her.

Men, listen up. It's a right and good thing to compliment women on their beauty. Solomon has demonstrated that over and over again in this book.

Yet anyone can look at a hot girl and say, "Hey, you look hot." Remember that there's more to a girl than what's on the outside. If you truly want to touch the heart of a woman, look inside of her. Compliment her on her character, on her intelligence, on her creativity, on her hard work, on the skills she's worked her entire life on.

Men, if you're attracted to a woman for how kind and gracious she is, and you tell her that, it will mean a lot more than simply being drawn to her because she's "hot."

Solomon saw a beautiful woman of character and pursued her romantically. He won her heart in purity and made her his queen.

They've shared an adventure of romance that is still being sung about 3,000 years after they met!

In this, they demonstrate how love should begin. 

There was an initial moment of outward attraction. She saw how handsome Solomon was and became flustered; she fretted that she wasn't presentable. But Solomon saw her and instantly found her to be beautiful, even with sweat pouring down her forehead.

After that, they got to know a little about each other's character. Solomon saw that she was a virtuous a woman, a hard worker who was gracious and kind to those around her, even those whom she could have resented. She saw that he was a wise and capable ruler, a king worthy of his position who deserved all he had been given.

As they were attracted to both the appearance and character of each other, they began a relationship. Solomon pursued her romantically, in purity; he gave us a snap-shot of their courtship in chapter two. And the rest, as they say, is history.

So from this, let us draw two quick observations. First, all romantic relationships should be based on attraction to a person's character, to their internal qualities. After all, a person's outward appearance will change over time. Don't pursue a person for how hot they are right now. Find a person with personality traits and qualities that will make like with them a joy, no matter what age they happen to be!

Second, we must admit that physical attraction to a person's outward appearance is important. But, as Solomon displayed, that does not mean Hollywood rules our relationships. Solomon found her beautiful even in the middle of a work day under a hot sun. This means that he wasn't looking for a pre-set standard; he didn't have a profile in mind that his ideal woman had to be 5'6", blonde, and less than 110 lbs. When they were married, he made her his standard of beauty, which means that he didn't have a standard before hand. He went through life seeing beauty in everyone, and found plenty of it in the woman who became his bride.

In other words: while physical attraction is important, it is secondary. If you are attracted to a person's internal qualities, you can make their physical appearance your standard of beauty, and you will grow to see them as the most gorgeous human being ever to walk the planet!


This has been a long run; this book is packed full of wisdom. So how do they end this love poem of theirs?

He says, "O you who dwell in the gardens, with companions listening for your voice; let me hear it." Earlier in the book they dealt with her many friends, who constantly vie for her attention. Yet Solomon wants to spend time with her; he wants to talk with her. He asks for the beautiful pleasure of hearing her voice.


She responds, "Make haste, my beloved, and be like a gazelle or a young stag on the mountains of spices."

This is a curious turn-around. She calls her husband to the bedroom, while he calls her to a chat. Our stereotypes say the opposite, that women love to talk, while men want to get physical.

And that's still the case, here. These are the last words from Solomon and his bride, and they demonstrate that they have learned to speak each other's love languages very well. They know how to love each other, and they express their love and desire for each other in the way that their beloved enjoys.

She loves to talk, so Solomon lovingly asks her to sit down and talk with him. Her love language is quality time, with a lot of words of affirmation thrown in the mix. Solomon speaks her language and gives her what her heart desires: uninterrupted quality time with her beloved.

Solomon's love language is more of the physical touch variety (as is statistically true with most men). He loves to express his passion for his wife in the bedroom, so she eagerly calls him to it. And as I have heard from my married friends, these words from a wife are like crack to her husband!

In other words: this couple has learned not to demand things from each other. They don't harbor bitterness or a sense of superiority, expecting the other person to serve them first. They have dropped their selfishness.

Instead of being centered on themselves, they put their spouse in the center. He invites her to the very activity she is most eager for, to the love language she enjoys speaking the most. She does the same for him. In doing so, they both feel loved, cherish, appreciated, and known. Not only are they loved, but they are loved well; their spouse knows them extremely well, and shows it in the way they express affection to them.

So couples, take heed of the wisdom they demonstrate. True love is not about expecting and demanding things from your spouse. True love is being a gift to your spouse, lovingly offering them what they desire without demanding they do it to you, first. True love is knowing your spouse more intimately than anyone else ever can, and demonstrating that in the specific ways that you express your love to them.


And so, my friends, this is the end of the book.

Solomon and his bride tell us of their first meeting, showing us that love blossoms when you look inside a person and find their character attractive. Solomon was handsome and his wife beautiful, but what really drew them to each other were their inner qualities.

They also tell us of their marriage, how they have learned to love each other well. They speak each other's love languages well, inviting each other to the very activities that their beloved is most eager for. They demonstrate true love, based on a thorough and deep knowledge of each other.

The beginning and the end; love budding for the first time and a love richly seasoned with time and experience.

May you find a love such as the one this couple experienced. May you be attracted to a beautiful person of great character, and may your relationship grow in knowledge and love until you speak each other's love languages so well that you never doubt how much you are adored.

Above all, remember that you are already fully known and already fully loved by the very God who created you. As beautiful as human romance is, it is merely a foretaste of the immense love that Jesus has for His bride, the Church! 

If you seek true love, find it first of all in Jesus, for only He can truly satisfy the longings of your heart.

Then, find a soul mate among your fellow Christ-followers, and echo His great love to each other for the rest of your lives.

You were made for love.