SoS 8:8-10 "Why and How We Fight for Purity"

Song of Solomon wasn't written in chronological order, and no where is this more apparent than the end! It's the last chapter of the book, the last few sentences, and suddenly we're earlier in the story than ever before. We flash back to a time before Solomon and his bride knew each other, back to before she was even a teenager.

So why does the book make this sudden shift? My speculation is that Solomon and his bride anticipate that after a couple comes together and is wed, they will eventually be interested in helping their friends and siblings find love as they have. Hopefully they will also have children and will want to do everything they can to help their kids find love.

This section address just such a situation.

[Her brothers]
[8] We have a little sister,
and she has no breasts.
What shall we do for our sister
on the day when she is spoken for?
[9] If she is a wall,
we will build on her a battlement of silver,
but if she is a door,
we will enclose her with boards of cedar.
[Her]
[10] I was a wall,
and my breasts were like towers;
then I was in his eyes
as one who finds peace.
(Song of Solomon 8:8-10 ESV)

"We have a little sister, and she has no breasts. What shall we do for our sister on the day when she is spoken for?" This woman has several older brothers, whom she's mentioned before in the Song. Here they are wondering how to protect their little sister. Apparently their father has passed away, and they feel protective of her. She's growing, and they know that soon she'll be attracting the attention of men.

(Side note for clarification: when they say that she has no breasts in verse 8, they aren't being cruel; they're merely saying that she's still at that young age where they haven't begun to develop).

Her brothers want to protect her purity. Again, because of cultural differences, let me clear up any confusion. They are not saying that women are inferior people and men must protect them, or that women don't know what's best for them. They're not being chauvinistic or domineering.

Rather, they're spinning off the wisdom that this woman herself has said earlier in this book. She has continually urged her friends not to awaken love before it desires. She pleads with her single friends not to have sex outside of marriage, because it can never compare to saving sex for marriage. She urges them to stay pure because it is the route to the greatest pleasure possible.

"If she is a wall, we will build on her a battlement of silver" Her brothers, here, decide to uphold this same virtue. They decide that if she is a wall, if she guards her own purity, then they will build on her battlements of silver. Silver isn't used for weapons; it's used for decoration. So if they see her guarding her purity, they will compliment her and draw attention to it, showing people how beautiful it is.

"but if she is a door, we will enclose her with boards of cedar." In other words, if she opens herself up to guys who want to take from her without first marrying her, they're going to protect her and keep her away from these guys. She may have freaked out against her brothers and hated them for doing so, in the moment. But as she's already said repeatedly, saving sex for marriage is the route to greatest joy; this is what she wants.

(Side note: I think this is another good reason that Solomon put this section at the end of the book. If this came first, it would seem more like these brothers are being domineering. But we've heard from this woman several times that this is the very behavior she finds as most wise, as the route to greatest pleasure. So when her brothers act to accomplish this, they're only doing what she herself wants others to do, what she is so glad that she herself did).

Ladies, let me just encourage you here to guard your purity as this book advocates. Your purity is yours alone to guard or to give away. If you are blessed with a Godly father and/or brothers who will look out for you, consider yourself profoundly blessed!

But ultimately, the decision is yours, ladies. Men might pursue you, but they can't have you unless you open up to them. 

I pray in the name of Jesus Christ that you don't give yourself to any man unless he gives you a wedding ring first! This is the path to the romance, pleasure, joy, and peace that you crave. Anything that falls short of this will only deliver romance that falls short, pleasure that falls short, joy that falls short, and peace that falls short.


"I was a wall, and my breasts were like towers" This woman decided to be a wall. She listened to the counsel of others and saved herself for marriage. As the book demonstrates repeatedly, she is overwhelmingly glad that she did!

She was not led astray by sexual desires. Instead, she chose her course wisely, and now her sexuality, completely unstained, shines as it unites her to her husband in purity. Instead of hiding a painful past, she is confident and resplendent in the purity of her faithfulness. Women, I urge you to seek the same!

"then I was in his eyes as one who finds peace." When Solomon looks at this woman, this beautiful wife he cherishes so dearly, he feels peace. He has no need to fret or worry. She saved herself for him; she cherishes him; she is faithful to him. Because of this, she is a great delight to him.

Women and men, let's talk honestly for a second. The stereotype is that men are pigs; they love to lust after girls who flirt with them and do other things with them. Girls are thus tempted to reveal skin, to act flirtatiously, to give in to guys, so that they will get the attention from guys that they crave.

Men might be excited by easy women at first. In the bar scene, it's what they tend to crave.

But in marriage, an easy woman is a nightmare to a man. 

If a man fears that his wife might be flirting with others, that she might not be faithful to him, it is a terror. That man will not know peace if he suspects in the slightest that she's running around. Men can even fear that they are inferior to their wife's past lovers, that she secretly wishes to return to them. This is one of the vulnerable areas of life, one of the few cracks where even the most confident, solid man can shatter and become a quivering wreck.

Solomon doesn't have to worry about this, because he knows his bride is faithful. She has cultivated her character for her entire life, as demonstrated by her faithfulness to him. He has no worries. Every time he looks at her, he knows peace.

Women, one of the greatest ways you can bless your husband (even if you haven't met him yet) is to keep yourself pure in your singleness, so that you can give him the same kind of peace that Solomon enjoys. 

(Side note: I am not accusing women, as if a man's lack of peace is always a woman's fault. Quite to the contrary, a man's peace should be fixed in Christ, so much so that it can survive even life's worst tragedies. In describing a man's terror above, I am only being descriptive, noting what happens to some. I am in no way blaming a woman for a man's behavior).

To summarize this whole post into a single statement: In your singleness, be a wall; it is the path to lasting peace.

This world can provide a thousand temptations a day that promise you something better, or an easier way to get what you want. They are all lies. Do not give up something you can never reclaim.

Women, you are treasures, each and every one of you. Do not give yourself for anything less than a marriage commitment. If a man promises to you his heart for the rest of his life, he finds you to be priceless. Don't settle for anything less.